You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
