The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
