I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
