Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
