Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
