I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
