Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
