Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
