My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
