i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
