i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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