wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
