i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Never let your siblings swipe right.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
