R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
