Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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