I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
