physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
