Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so let's talk penis.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
