Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize