we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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