I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
