butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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