Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
