It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
