great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize