me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
