i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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