I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
