Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize