A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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