I checked into jail on foursquare
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
sex in a hospital.. check
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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