my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This is classic penis vs brain.
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