last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize