Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize