maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
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she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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