the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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