All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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