Nicole vs. Life
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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