Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
