ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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