I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
