Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
