Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
