Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Randomize
