I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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