your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
