she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Fuck appropriateness.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
