Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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