Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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