I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
