it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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