I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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