my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
there was a trapeze. enough said
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Randomize