Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
