yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
