I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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