So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
