hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
